I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
