How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
