Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
