people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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