you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
