I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I got inside last night via doggy door
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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