College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
