But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
