Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
