i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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