Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
