Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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