I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
