when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
