i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
