Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
