what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
