I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
