At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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