I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
