So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's blow job season.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Everyone says I win the strip club
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
