that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And then the night went full on bisexual.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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