Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
