i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
