I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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