Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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