Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just tell him i said nine months
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
