she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
