Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
