You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
