Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
