She announced her abortion via fbk
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
