yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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