What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
