She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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