Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
