I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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