Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
