If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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