its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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