i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
