dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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