we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize