I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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