Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
