paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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