We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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