we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
