I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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