is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
