I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
